“All marriages require work, but when one or both partners start to feel emotionally disengaged the marriage becomes highly vulnerable to further deterioration without outside help. Marriage Counseling can be helpful in a variety of situations, large and small. Married life isn’t always easy. After the rush and excitement from the wedding and honeymoon fade away, reality sets in. Marriage counseling is nothing to be ashamed of or to fear. Anything that can get you and your spouse back on track is a good thing. Whether you have large or small issues, marriage counseling can help you work through them together.”
Do you notice everyone around you is in couples counseling? I do, because I’m a couples therapist. But even among people I meet casually, it seems everyone is going. The stigma of seeing a couples therapist will probably reverse soon.
So, why be left out of this trend? All around you, couples are improving their marriages, and you’re stuck in an uncommunicative, non-intimate, frustrating relationship that makes you feel bad five days out of seven.
“But,” you say, “I have only threatened divorce a handful of times, only under stress, or when we are fighting, which is only often and not constantly, and half of the threats are in my own head. We still have sex at least a couple times a month, and I like my partner at least half the time. Well, a third. What percentage is a fifth again?”
“Surely others,” you continue, “who are truly bad off, are the ones who need couples counseling. My spouse just needs to figure out how not to be such a jerk, and then we will be fine.”
To this series of defenses mixed with white lies and outright denial, I rejoinder, snappily: “If your leg was infected, would you wait for gangrene to set in before seeking medical attention? Do you think marriages improve as you get farther and farther away from the honeymoon period and have more stressors, some which crawl and destroy your home, to contend with?”