Getting over a breakup is a difficult process, especially for men. Raised to be strong and protective, men rarely gain the experience necessary to cope with emotional stress effectively.
Breakups are always hard. Regardless of who you are, who was at fault or how badly the relationship ended, the aftermath is tough to deal with. Usually, the full severity of the breakup is driven by how long the relationship lasted and how in love with the other person you were.
Contrary to popular belief, men take breakups just as hard as women. As I wrote about in my post “Are Women Really More Emotional than Men?”; guys may try hard to hide their hurt but it is still very much there.
Its true that some relationships are easier to get over than others. If a guy is with someone for a short period of time, say less than a year and he wasn’t in love, moving on may not really be that challenging. However, if he was in love,
THE BREAKUP CAN FEEL LIKE SOMEONE HAS PHYSICALLY REMOVED A PART OF HIS HEART.
Immediately after the breakup he feels incomplete. Almost as if he cannot function without the missing piece that used to be a part of him.
He has to force himself to get up in the morning and go to work. Normal everyday activities can seem like major chores. Being motivated to do anything other than wonder what went wrong in the relationship can be extremely difficult.
Delay of Pain
With some breakups there is a latency period before the hurt really sets in. During this time he may feel ok about the breakup and possibly relieved.
This is especially true if the relationship was filled with fighting and constant misunderstandings. It may feel nice to not have to worry about how every statement he makes will be taken or how his action, or lack thereof, will be scrutinized.
During this latency period he can do what he wants with whomever he wants without anyone else’s permission. However, this period is usually short lived and he eventually starts to feel the pain of not having someone familiar in his life.
Dating is a challenge because everyone he meets he compares to his ex. The lack of familiarity makes other people feel so foreign and distant. He wants the same sort of connection he once had.
The Emotional Roller Coaster
Emotions are one of those human traits that can work in your favor when …