“Everyone has their own set of quirks and trust us when we say yours will likely make an appearance at some point during the wedding planning process. Your maid of honor should be someone who understands you and who knows when to step in and offer suggestions and support, and when to leave you alone. Your maid of honor is going to be many things, a friend, a confidant, an assistant, but most of all she’s going to be someone you can lean on when you feel overwhelmed. So when you make the choice as to who gets the coveted role, make sure it’s someone you know will have your back and who you can trust to be there for you no matter what.“
If you and your sister have spent the past 20-some years painting each other’s nails while gossiping, then she’s obviously going to be your Maid of Honor when you get married. But it’s not as simple for sisters who don’t have a close relationship with one another, or for a bride who has more than one sister. You may feel that your best friend you’ve known since middle school would be a better match for the position, but unfortunately, choosing whomever you want may cause drama.
If choosing a maid of honor were like selecting the candidate with the most impressive resume, then it would be a less painful process. But, unlike in the professional world, you’ll have to interact with rejected candidates, possibly for the rest of your life, at family gatherings or social events.
Luckily for you, there’s good news! There are ways to ensure that everyone is happy about whom you choose for the coveted position. So before I enter Dr. Phil mode, here’s a taste of how a maid of honor scenario can go terribly wrong.
One of my friends from college got engaged about six months ago and set the wedding date immediately. She decided, against her mother’s wishes, to choose her childhood best friend as her Maid of Honor instead of her sister. Her sister was blindsided and felt hurt by the news. The result was that my friend’s sister refused to be a bridesmaid, and I was asked to fill her spot.
As much as I didn’t want to be in that uncomfortable position, I accepted, hoping my friend and her sister would resolve the issue so I could once again be a guest at the wedding. My friend eventually apologized to her sister and explained why she chose her best friend. The reasons were not malicious. It was just that my friend’s best friend was incredibly responsible and willing to help organize the wedding, a task my friend’s sister would loathe. After a screaming match between the two, they worked it, out and I was back to sitting in a lovely wooden chair in the audience.
To avoid a situation like my friend’s, should you make your sister your MoH? There is no universally correct answer, so here are five important questions to ask yourself, as well as my thoughts on the matter:
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