Are Texting and Dating a Recipe for Relationship Disaster?

We all text in today’s world. There is some etiquette to texting and dating though. But do we consider texting a way of dating? Or is it worth a try to start a new relationship?

Modern dating has a lot of positives. We use the internet to meet people we would never be able to otherwise meet. (It’s how I met my husband!) It also creates complications we never had before, particularly with texting and dating.

Texting and dating definitely isn’t just for 20 year olds anymore. As The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, I hear endless dating dilemmas that are created by texting. Here’s are a couple examples of many:

(C) seduction-efficace.com

“Sue” connected with a man online. He instantly started texting her. He sent her pictures of his son’s baseball game and told her about his day at work. She told him about her car trouble and he told her to come to him for help next time.

Then they had a coffee date. It went well. They “talked” (texted) all day for days. He complimented her and made her laugh. He told her how busy he was and she felt flattered that he was keeping in touch.

After two weeks the texts tapered, and then he stopped responding. She asked me, “I thought he was so into me. What should I do???”

“Melissa” stayed up until 3 AM texting with her dude. They had one date three weeks prior, and since then, they’ve only been texting here and there. But it is so romantic, she told me. She is falling for him. They have no dates planned…he doesn’t even bring it up.

Read more: http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/are-texting-and-dating-a-recipe-for-relationship-disaster

 

7 Signs the Guy You’re Seeing Is Boyfriend Material

Every woman dreams of that special prince charming who; will take good care of her and give her everything she wants. Every woman gets into a relationship expecting things to turn out as planned. And a lot of women assume that being with a man will bring them a lot of joy and happiness in their life.

 

clueless movie with cher and josh

He’s a nice guy. Somewhere deep down you may hope that the brooding bad boy is going to suddenly change — perhaps order you a refill when you head to the bathroom instead of talking up the bartender. But really, he’s just looking out for himself. A nice guy is just that: He cares about your feelings, is interested in spending time with you, and is courteous. All traits, that if this goes well, he’ll pass onto his son.

Being reliable isn’t just something he saves for his bros. When he says he’ll meet you at 7 p.m. he’s there on time. And, after your third date when you left your keys in the cab, he came over to sit with you outside your apartment until the locksmith came.

He doesn’t want to play games. He’s not looking to just get laid, he’s in this to find someone to date seriously. So, when you text him “I’m so tired today,” he responds within minutes (not a day later) with a “Me too. Dinner later?”

There’s never a shortage of something new to talk about. It’s only been four dates, but you already can’t wait to tell him about your day and listen to him recount his.

See more: http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a9821/signs-the-guy-youre-dating-is-boyfriend-material/

How Men Deal with Breakups

Getting over a breakup is a difficult process, especially for men. Raised to be strong and protective, men rarely gain the experience necessary to cope with emotional stress effectively.

 

How Men Deal with Breakups

Breakups are always hard. Regardless of who you are, who was at fault or how badly the relationship ended, the aftermath is tough to deal with. Usually, the full severity of the breakup is driven by how long the relationship lasted and how in love with the other person you were.

His Hurt

Contrary to popular belief, men take breakups just as hard as women. As I wrote about in my post “Are Women Really More Emotional than Men?”; guys may try hard to hide their hurt but it is still very much there.

Its true that some relationships are easier to get over than others. If a guy is with someone for a short period of time, say less than a year and he wasn’t in love, moving on may not really be that challenging. However, if he was in love,

THE BREAKUP CAN FEEL LIKE SOMEONE HAS PHYSICALLY REMOVED A PART OF HIS HEART.

The Aftermath

Immediately after the breakup he feels incomplete. Almost as if he cannot function without the missing piece that used to be a part of him.

He has to force himself to get up in the morning and go to work. Normal everyday activities can seem like major chores. Being motivated to do anything other than wonder what went wrong in the relationship can be extremely difficult.

Delay of Pain

With some breakups there is a latency period before the hurt really sets in. During this time he may feel ok about the breakup and possibly relieved.

This is especially true if the relationship was filled with fighting and constant misunderstandings. It may feel nice to not have to worry about how every statement he makes will be taken or how his action, or lack thereof, will be scrutinized.

During this latency period he can do what he wants with whomever he wants without anyone else’s permission. However, this period is usually short lived and he eventually starts to feel the pain of not having someone familiar in his life.

Dating is a challenge because everyone he meets he compares to his ex. The lack of familiarity makes other people feel so foreign and distant. He wants the same sort of connection he once had.

The Emotional Roller Coaster

Emotions are one of those human traits that can work in your favor when …

Read more: http://www.fromhisperspective.com/how-men-deal-with-breakups/

12 Signs You’re In A One-Sided Relationship

Relationships are an important part of our life; they are great when they are harmonious and nurturing, and they are confusing and painful when they are not. Being in love is a wonderful feeling and can be devastating when love isn’t reciprocated.

(c) www.newlovetimes.com

True love and commitment are rare to find but most of us spend a good portion of our time trying to seek out that comfort zone that only comes with a relationship. A lot of times relationships are not based on love at all but are these called casual? No! Sometimes people feel so averted by the idea of being in a “casual relationship” that they would rather choose to live with the delusional white lie that their relationship actually exists. That is why a majority of the relationships end, as they might not always be based on two people genuinely being interested in each other but two people who are just trying each other out. This could be due to several reasons: loneliness, set ups, peer pressure, social stigma that everyone needs to flock in twos, social status, sextimacy (confusing physical intimacy with emotional intimacy), a power play for a better self-image with one-sided love situations, denial of being used when you’re the loving party in the one sided love situations, because all your friends are dating and you wish to fit in, and then my personal favorite, the dire need to have someone that you can call girlfriend or boyfriend.

People can be sick, twisted and difficult to understand, not because they are terrible human beings playing with each other’s emotions and spreading around the epidemic of emotional damage but because living in denial is always easier than seeing things for what they are and a lot of people just run around the world in a need to be fixed when in reality they are just breaking more and more people on that quest. So if you are ready to take off the love goggles and see if your relationship is made up in your mind or not, here it goes!

1. Your partner is disrespectful.

Love is not the butterflies in your stomach or the hormones surging through your veins for the evolutionary purpose of mating. The key ingredient for love is mutual respect. If your relationship is abusive in any manner, it is as good as nonexistent. If you think you are entitled to being treated as a princess and your boyfriend merely exists to build you a throne, you don’t love him; he’s just a fix for your self-esteem issues. And if you think having an upper hand over your women by playing games, you are no better! If mutual respect towards each other’s existence, interests, profession, contribution to the relationship, time, space, bodies or anything else does not exist, then you are just either counting the days until you get sick of each other and break up or get stuck in toxic mess for eternity that will not let you grow in any way.

2. The allure of being emotionally unavailable.

Sometimes all our minds want is the challenge, so are you really into this person or is the fact that this person emotionally unavailable that draws you towards them? People have valid reasons for being emotionally unavailable; don’t break through someone’s walls just to realize that you did it for the challenge and now that you’re in, you don’t find them as alluring. A lot of people get very sucked up into this fascination and build something in their head that is completely nonexistent for the other person. The only time you should consider being involved with an emotionally unavailable …

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/vineeta-tyagi/2014/06/12-signs-youre-in-a-one-sided-relationship/

9 Secrets To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

Keeping the romance alive in a long-distance is not easy, but rest assured that it can be done. When you are successful at making a long-distance relationship work, it can actually be more rewarding and beneficial than a normal relationship.

 

9 Secrets To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work post image

Long distance relationships (LDRs) are more common than ever in today’s world, thanks to the internet, social media, and Skype. While we might have more modern ways to keep in touch, that doesn’t necessarily mean making a long distance relationship work has become easier for most people. When you’re in an long distance relationship, most people will tell you that LDRs don’t last, that they’re a bad idea and that you shouldn’t get your hopes up.

 
For most of us, the inside of your head isn’t much better: Your mind is constantly worrying if the relationship will last, wondering if the other person is as committed as you are, fearing that it could all end suddenly and you’ll be left to pick up the pieces.
Yes, they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but when you don’t have a clear, easy, and effective approach to LDRs, it’s more like, “Absence makes the heart grow more fearful about the relationship.”
The good news is, long distance relationships can be easy if you know the right way to approach an LDR. I’m going to share 8 powerful tips that lead to having a successful long distance relationship.

 
1. Don’t overcommunicate – it’s about quality, not quantity.We’re going to touch on this more in the article, but a key understanding about long distance relationships (and healthy relationships in general) is that the quantity of your interactions isn’t what will lead to deeper connection, greater openness, and better overall satisfaction with the relationship; the quality of the relationship will.So the question then becomes, “what determines the quality of the relationship?” We’ll talk about that later in this article.

 
2. Look at this long distance relationship positively. See your LDR as a growing experience for your relationship. In a relationship, perspective is everything. When you have an effective way of looking at your long distance relationship, you’ll feel clarity, inspiration and happiness when you think about your LDR (instead of what most people feel: confusion, discouragement and fear that it could all fall apart.)As with anything in life, your mindset is what determines whether you’ll succeed or not. By having a positive and proactive perspective on your LDR, you won’t fall into the trap of negative thoughts that quickly become a breeding ground for fears, worries and despair.

 
3. Be clear with yourself and with your partner about what you expect. It’s better to mentally “burst some bubbles” now and talk through it, than to be shocked and disappointed if your partner does something you don’t like.

 
– See more at: http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/make-a-long-distance-relationship-work/

What Is Dating?! A Lesson From Taylor Swift (Sort Of)

“Dating is the process people go through when they want to meet and/or get involved with potential romantic and/or sexual partners. Dating is how people get to know each other and determine if someone is a suitable partner for them. There are many different types and styles of dating. Not every form of dating will be done by every individual or culture of people.”

what is dating

I just read an interview Taylor Swift had with Vanity Fair and I couldn’t help but feel extremely confused over something she said. When asked about her dating life while sipping on lavender lemonade (because of course she was asked about her dating life while she was sipping on lavender lemonade), Tay-Tay said, “If you want some big revelation, since 2010 I have dated exactly two people.”

Um, girl… we all know there’s been more than two people. According to Vanity Fair, those two people she was talking about were Conor Kennedy and Harry Styles. I’m sorry, did we forget about Taylor Lautner, Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Cory Monteith and Jake Gyllenhaal (and those I forgot about)? Because, Taylor, you’ve been linked to all of those dudes since 2010.

Hold on a sec: please don’t jump down my throat because you think I’m making fun of Taylor for the amount of guys she’s dated – I’m not. I don’t care how many guys Taylor dates and neither should anyone else. If she wants to date 20 guys in one year, she can. Go for it. More power to ‘ya. I’m not her biggest fan, but I’m not trying to slut-shame her here. There’s nothing wrong with a girl who dates around.

Here’s why I was left so confused: what is dating to Taylor Swift? The article immediately made all of us here at the Gurl office wonder what dating means to Tay-Tay herself… and actually, what does dating even mean to any of us?

Is dating a term that is only reserved for more serious relationships? Or is dating a term reserved for only very casual relationships? Is dating the same thing as hooking up? Is it considered dating if you guys only kiss? Is going out on one or two dates considered dating? What is dating?! Someone help me!

Read more: http://www.gurl.com/2013/03/05/what-is-dating/

How to Stop Stressing When It Comes to Dating & Relationships

“Confidence is the sexiest quality any man or woman can possess. When you are confident, you stand out. It can be a slow process, but you have to try to get to the point where you are okay just being yourself, no matter how desperately you really do want a relationship. It might be hard work. It might take a long time. It might mean investing in your friends, in your hobbies, in whatever it is you do that makes you happy and relaxed.”

How to Stop Stressing When It Comes to Dating & Relationships post image
Photo by http://www.anewmode.com/

In my article on why guys suddenly lose interest, I discussed how caring too much or stressing over your relationship can irreparably damage it. The article sparked an avalanche of e-mails and comments from women who were feeling panicked over the state of their relationship. Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much?” “What should I text him to fix the situation?” “Is it OK if I tell him XYZ?” “Is he gone forever?” “How can I get him back?” OK, full stop. This is exactly the problem Eric and I have been addressing at length, not only on the site, but also in the newsletter and on our Facebook accounts.

But I realized that identifying the problem is only half the bat

Read more: http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/stop-stressing-dating-relationships/

7 Proven Reasons Why It’s Perfectly Okay To Have Sex On The First Date

“As people stay in the dating pool longer than ever before, women are continuously inundated with advice on whether or not to sleep with someone on the first date. For most guys, if you’re interested in a woman enough to pursue her, ask her out, and take her on a date, then you’re probably interested enough to want to take things in a physical direction, too. As long as it’s safe and equally consensual, you do what’s best for you.”

Mosuno
Photo by http://elitedaily.com/

Nobody likes first dates.

They’re awkward, they usually involve some kind of drink or meal that you’d rather not share with a stranger, and there’s always that hesitant question at the forefront of both your minds: Are we going to have sex later?

Thanks to a lot of poodle skirts and antiquated ideas about dating, first-date sex has become a topic of controversy, with many of us still believing in the shameful stigma attached to it.

Despite our generally enlightened attitudes in this new-age hookup culture, we’re still viewing sex on the first date as a make-or-break moment, leaving most of us to agonize over what the right move is.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/7-great-scientific-reasons-sex-first-date/701500/

Third Date Tips to Fall in Love With Each Other

“Did you know that the third date can really be the deciding factor between ‘just friends’ and ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’? It’s true, many relationships make it or break it in the third date. You know what we mean when we talk about third date expectations. Although modern dating mythology has long thought of the third date as the date when sex becomes a realistic possibility, heading into it with that assumption won’t do you any favors if you’re looking for a real relationship.”

third date tips

A third date is the thin line that separates dating from a relationship. Use these 10 third date tips to make your date fall in love with you.

A third date isn’t just a date.

It’s actually a thin line that can determine the direction of the dating game.

If you’ve been on two dates with a special someone, and both of you are still keen to see each other again, it’s definitely a good sign.

During a third date, you’re practically a couple already. But as you’re still only two dates old, it’s too young to give the relationship a name.

Third date tips to fall in love

The third date is almost always the deal maker.

The first date tests the likeability.

The second confirms that and tests the romance.

Read more: http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-game/third-date-tips